Peaceful
Passages
Man is the Reasoning Animal.
Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments
have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal.
In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals
easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this.
In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage.
In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course
of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves.
Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.
Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and
as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen.
Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian;
a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman
from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed
away for two whole days.
When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all
right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of
turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh-not a specimen left
alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and
carried the matter to a Higher Court.
~ Mark Twain
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